Pardon the melodramtic elab.s in the following reflection.
I was introduced to the idea of CAS when I was a student in the Integrated Programme (IP) course. It was easy for me to identify with the course as I had been doing projects after projects during the two years of my education in the IP course. Despite the difference in requirements in terms of the hours to fulfil for each criterion, almost everything else remained the same.
As such, the thing that I immediately think of when going about to approach this integral part of the IB programme, was to prepare myself and plan for activities that would benefit the community and society, though regretfully, now that I reflect upon my thoughts and actions, those were foolish.
At first, I thought that this was just another programme like that of the Community Involvement Projects that the Singapore government requires of us to do every year, where we visit homes and spend time with the elderly, and do chores for them. However, through this experiential course, doing the projects of CAS, I came to a realisation of many things that I had not through introspection whilst reflecting upon each CAS project that I had done.
I recorded the details of ten activities that I have participated in over the course of the past two years or so. Much has seemed to have passed, and been done, but I could truly say that the activity that was the most life-changing that I would remember for the rest of my life would be the one named, Windows on the World (WOW). This activity is a school initiative in which the school organises trips to places around the world where people like you and me, who are less privileged; need aid, help, and support.
Through that mere span of seven days spent with fellow classmates and schoolmates, I have truly witnessed the compassion of the human heart, and the endless possibilities and warmth one can give to a complete stranger upon first contact. I personally believe this one experience is able to sum up the whole meaning of this CAS programme as what I believe it to be.
Let me just start by following the sequence of events that followed during the trip, picking out only the significant bits. This whole experience started off as just another one of those projects to help raise funds for poor children in another country like what the Red-cross society always does, going around asking for money and things like that. I have to say, I was rather sceptical about this whole trip, and regarded it as a rather laborious attempt at doing good for a group of impoverished people in a, for a lack of a better word, god-forsaken place, in this instance, high up in the mountains somewhere in the outskirts of China.
Raising funds aside and gone, the Sichuan earthquake made it impossible for us to go to that place in China for our WOW project, hence it was postponed to the end of the year. Initially, I dare say everyone rejoiced, as being civilised citizens in the modern world, we do not want to work, sweat, and labour, but stay in our comfy homes in peaceful, safe Singapore. Despite the differences in our characters and personalities between each classmate to another, ironically, almost everyone was together on this thought or rather, hope of not being able to go for this WOW project. At that point in time, though I was one of the culprits in rejoicing, it was hard to ignore the fact that upon introspection, the human heart and spirit was that filthy in the environment that I lived in.
However… It was only when I went with the three classes that went on this trip together, especially with my class that I realised how beautiful the human heart can be. As melodramatic as it seems, as I write this reflection, I am truly touched by how even seemingly unsuspecting people could have that much compassion, so much that it is to the point of admiration.
Iterating upon that, there were always those few playful individuals who like to joke and play around in classes. Those were the few that usually send negative vibes to other people, shunning people from them, or at least I did. Climbing the hill, or rather, mountain, the true nature of people tend to show, and shine more prominently than ever before in their normal school life. We were asked to cross a suspension bridge made out of cables and metal planks for us to walk on. Below us, were hundreds of meters of air, leading to the river in the valley below. It is at this time where the once timid characters in class shone to take the lead, and even help those who were the strong and courageous characters in class across the bridge. That was a rather amazing sight to behold. Truly, one can never testify the true courage of a person until placed in dire situations.
The next instance was when we were in the various schools, playing with the children. I, for one, am very bad socialising with strangers. There is this innate fear in me that the other person would gobble me up with one bite and that would be the end for me. Yet, I tried, and persevered to my very best. I was placed in charge of a group of five children. Thinking they would be as obedient as children in Singapore, or the children in one of the schools that we visited, I treated them very politely, for after all, they are not my children, nor my charge, and should not do anything rash, lest I displease the teachers of that school, including their parents. The children ran round and round, some were shy, whereas others were daring to the bone. When I chased after one child, another would run away, and they just dispersed. I was feeling so stressed out. Furthermore, a complaint by the teacher fell upon my ears indirectly about how our class was so disorganised as compared to the other classes who came before us.
I felt really disheartened to the point of almost desperation and insanity and outburst. I wondered to myself, what did I do wrong? Am I someone no one respects? Am I someone who is unable to lead even a bunch of children? I looked to people on my right and left, all of them were doing their part, playing out their roles so perfectly, all organised, with the children having so much fun, whereas some of the children in my group were sulking away, sitting quiet in one corner, whereas others were just running about, running to other game stations in which it was not their turn and time to do so.
Time came for us to go down to the river for a drawing competition. Everyone was happy, running down, having their own child partner to follow, and though I had a child partner too, which is heartening, even she went to join another classmate of mine after a while. Depressing it was, feeling all alone, and left out. I felt like crying, but afraid to. I did not want anyone to see these tears of mine. Probably a mentality of a man of steel must have an emotion of steel. I always appeared to be very strong, and I find that true. But, there are always times where even the most bionic of cyborgs would be hurt in the flesh, and need that comfort.
I took my camera and walked away from the crowd, to look at life from a larger perspective. I saw joy, but felt pain. I wished and longed to be there, but I did not want to. These emotions were inexplicable. My heart felt like it was so pain it turned numb. I walked along the beach and took some photographs of the nature around me, to satisfy my need for comfort in the love for nature.
As we walked back to the school, everyone was, of course, cheery and in high spirits. I, was but too tired to do anything. I wanted to get out of that place. As we walked, a commotion stirred behind me and a friend of mine asked one of the children to play a prank on my form teacher. It was funny. I giggled. As I turned around, that friend again, asked that child to play a prank on me. But I already knew. So I just played along, so as not to be a party pooper. What really touches me the most is the love that classmate was able to give to the children, playing with them unconditionally though the classroom was so dusty. More so, when our class photographer lost her camera, and the photos that went with them, that classmate who played with the children, he was forlorn, for he would not be able to reminisce the precious moments that they had when his memory fails him in the future if it does.
The ability of that classmate to bring smiles to people, to interact with strangers and be so friendly in such a short span of time never ceases to amaze me. What also amazes me, is the kind of compassion everyone had, that spurred them to commit such acts of love, bringing joy to people around them, spreading the seeds, the good seeds of being considerate for others, a compassionate heart, and a thoughtful mind. Honestly speaking, as I looked back at this event in this school, I developed an admiration for all the people in my class. This CAS experience to me is a summary based on this WOW experience. It was truly a humbling experience. It is through this activity, that I realise that I am inadequate in so many ways. My inability to commune easily with strangers, I find, is a dysfunction to society.
In this world of mass communication, this life skill is required, and it is through this CAS programme that allowed me the opportunity to experience first hand, the beauty of the human heart and spirit, the ability to give and not ask for return, the ability to love unconditionally, and the ability to connect instantly, with no prior contact. Admiration goes out to all who are able to achieve these as I learn how to let my heart do them, and a thank you goes out to the IB for creating such an amazing avenue for us, or me, to experience and learn skills that would be used forever in the future. I will always remember these out-of-class experience and lessons that I take away from the IB programme and the CAS programme, and strive to achieve for that beautiful heart and spirit to be cultivated in me.
