A spontaneous day out
there i was minding my own business… planning to do some reading or Bertram’s hotel, even maybe finishing it, train some pokemon while im at it, the uge. then i got a phone call, and the rest were history… or at least now they are part of it.
too bad i didnt get to eat my fav ramen =( but o well i was full anyways. Thor was simply awesome. hehe it reignited my love of greek mythology and the likes. totally made me feel like i was a kid again, loving what years of facing reality desensitised once again. kind of happy that it made me remember the possibilities of things of the unknown and what it could present to us. =) i feel that the last part… Loki either took over the guys body, or was influencing him in some way. though, no idea how he could get any advantage out of using the equipment since technology isnt really part of ancient magic stuff. =/
loved the exploration to cool shops on orchard. totally fascinated by all the cool stuff people display/sell. little knick knacks that i probably would never buy because i have curbed my temptation to buy nonsense from shops that just collect dust around the house.
i just wished dinner was much cooler so that i couldve enjoyed the chilling more. nonetheless, it was rather nice, with the morrocan tea and kebab. little chitter chatter of nothing much. =)
on the way home till just now, i couldnt help but wander off in my own conciousness about the things that are in my life right now. worries, uncertainties, what to do from now… these things come in cycles, once resolved, they seem to creep back into my life, and ive to face them again, just under different circumstances and for different things.
uncertainty of whether ill be contacted at all. hence the frustration, the angst, anger, irritation. yet to unleash that pent up frustration because bottom line if they do contact, ill have to throw a smile their way and be totally nice. =)
thought about giving. helping, rather. once a promise laid, speaking words knowingly hard to commit to, but would try to, born from guilt on a certain occasion. yet, time and time again, the word spoken was broken. unwilling, yet bound, yet knowing that it should be done, but reluctance overcomes. excuses summoned forth, but consciously, know the reality. this pull will cause me much trouble.
a one sided pull, a one sided chase, leading to a rubber band expanding and contracting. bound by chance and fate, yet torn by those same forces. ambiguity. arent they all the same? yet with wisdom comes forth new and endless possibilities… or just naught.
scoring upon an article finished. but yet no ending. idiots and imbeciles are quick to judge, selfish even perhaps, yet with one not knowing their cause, can only helplessly accept the facts. all there is to it, is but just to wait. growing weary, losing interest, lazy perhaps, for he is a sloth.
losing all aims, purposes, goals, what else is there to look for? in every action, senselessness, bleakness, weariness, reverbs along all meaning of nerves and synapse. even zeal and zest dissipates upon reaching the first goal. tried so hard, spent time, effort, all for ? ultimately, what is there to be gained? should gaining be all to be looked for? search deeper, deeper, deep into the disform piece of energy. what is there waiting? lurking? what lust does it seek? search engines come up with nothing. think. art. negative. read. negative. am i falling further into the depths of… what? what is there? materials. yuck. yet, i will need. even so, in art, to please? or to satisfy? for one, or for all? if only the last goal can be seen… too bad. so question is… what now? life sucks when this happens.
