managed to go through the day unscathed by security issues, though i had to walk a long walk back one bus stop because i missed the only bus stop with bus 53 to take to the airport. by the way, one should try taking bus all the way to terminal 3 bus stop. the journey is so freaking cool. way cooler than driving and parking at the carpark. the bus freaking goes to some ulu place where the police checks the bus before it heads down underground to an underground bus stop in terminal 3. ZOMG it was so coooooool. i thought i was in some cool underground base in a movie. cant really get over the awesome coolness of our airport. reeeeeeely. haha. and im amazed at how long the airport was. macdonalds was such a long walk away from the lift at the bus stop.

so happy being able to take the bus. i had macs but the rest ate porkpeyes. and my handwriting… gosh so ugly. made new friends today. Mel, pearlyn, jean (?), and mel’s friend whose name i didnt really catch though i think it couldve been yihui? i need a planner now. so many things that my degenerated brain cannot store that much info and have a nice timeline planned out. so yea. tired. not working tmr. cos…. just cos… then again ill try to make myself finish my book and maybe some night exercise when i get to camp. wonder if anyone would be up for a night run. running at night is sooooo cooling. just hope the trees dont make it more difficult to breathe.

kevin added me into a green group. so cool. hopefully i can make it for the meetings. would be awesome to meet more green people. like fellow little ring holders of captain planet….. sort of. all in all, a really happy day! and so…. here goes!

Uncharted by Sara Bareilles

looking out the window, people, cars, traffic, construction, nature, the setting sun. i feel like i was experiencing numbness to this suffering world i was born into, maybe even moments of what could be like when ascending to heaven. escape? make belief? clinging to that hope i could only indulge in what i told myself to believe in. of what could be. of what things could… … … … or could not mean…

like a projector of sorts, scenes flash in still frames upon the white screen in my mind. fast, but vivid. almost a blur, yet so define it leaves a mark. burned. scarred. thinking, thinking… no certainty to anything, yet with the conscious mind harping on the possible harsh realities, subconsciously, escaping to neverland… or was it the opposite? nevermind.

the trip allows for many repeats, obsessed with going on and on in this blissful turmoil. rolling, blending, mixing. on the side, questions rise… no answer… repeat… no answer… repeat… repeat…

questions of past pulled up from their watery graves. answered.

now to focus on present issues. i realise. vowed to myself i should never. important, but not as pressing. answer following… yes. because… yes. next question…

its as if music became my answer to my questions. my problems. music was like a magical force of telekinesis making everything around light and floating, only when it stops, the reality of physics strikes a hard hand across your face. nonetheless, issues of the past are now resolved. i now know my answers, yet i do not know if i should commit these beliefs into truth, fact, my life. for in physics i know, that the larger you are, the harder you fall, and it always hurts. if yes, to be, and yes, to be, then yes, to be or not shall no more be a question anymore. or so i should think.

doubts and unlikelihoods still fill my inquisitive, pessimistic mind which is at times paranoid. yet ive decided to live as i am for things like these, i believe runs in the threads of fate. through my numerous dreams, i can only tell that it is probably inevitable that we all are travelling on a one way path on the thread of fate, just which one we can’t always tell through those dreams for it is perhaps that those from other threads intertwine and is shown to us on this very one that we exist on.

i must say, thanks music. i wish i could listen to more of you, and less of me singing… maybe only sometimes. haha. what can i say, i literally love singing. =)

watched from prada to nada (as in zero, zilch, nothing) the title was in chinese so proper translation would be difficult. anyways i watch social network too! and seriously, after watching it, i realised that singapore’s education system sucks. bleah. i might have blogged about this in the last post upon retrospect, but o well. who cares. i dont. oh i dont think i did. just remembered. stupid education system here… we dont get to be exposed to such awesome things like projects that you have to do, but the topic is up to you which you could further use and apply it to your life later on. and i just feel so inadequate after seeing the top minds at harvard being portrayed in the show. gosh such geniuses. =/

lets see, nothing much other than some rather, not so, shocking news about certain people. gossips… haha. yea nothing much already.

managed to finish my book today! wee! im left with 2 books before venturing onto classics, probably read all of george orwell’s books. we’ll see. apparently theres a cheap bookstore in bugis sort of. forgot the name of the street. arab st? o well. hm just remembered that i’ve to ask my mom if i could go to bangkok. lol. ill leave it here as a note/reminder.

weee. happy news and bad news. bad news, i dont think i cant down pes anymore =( knee doesnt hurt after a close to 4 click run. =( good news is i ran! sheesh such a walk in the park, compared to some silver ippt guy (i shant mention names cos so embarrassing), huffing and puffing away all the way during the run. teehee! XD i need to gym more. =/

gym gym gym gym gym. lalala. hopefully tmr got nothing. if so, i think ill go gym again. =D work up an appetite for dinner + PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN! WOOOOO! awesome! hm. should get a move on on things. nid to remove the sherlock holmes from the plastic wrap. lala. till next time! =D

vagueness and uncertainty of the future grips at me with certain fortitude. fear. yet amongst those things that concern itself with it, i have no hand in puppeteering its course of motion, direction and purpose. its master is not even that of a godly being, but just a mere mortal, of the same flesh, skin, bone, but yet standing on a step higher in its respective circumstances.

nonetheless, i managed to find pieces of myself, in the bin of a shredder, a shredder that minces, not cut into strips. barely able to connect and collect, i found myself clinging on to a small glimmer of a foundation, forged from the scraps that i managed to salvage. hanging on, i forged more. goals and aims that lasts and lives as long as a deadline exists, my purpose shall contract for no further, nor longer. attacking my true aim in life in question, i could only return to its beginning, and agree in consensus. with that, braving a new front, i faced through the trials of the present day. i would not say that i am all hyped and ready to dive right in. no. quite the contrary. for it is with much difficulty that one can reach his goals, or pursue his aims, for an idea must be conceived. seeded, only there after, will there be a possibility something might chance of it.

confusions were all set straight with what i have in my life. yet uncertainty, a certain amount of fear broods. waiting for a sign perhaps. dont know. not sure of anything, uncertain, no idea of what to think, how to progress. nada. a decline, clear and proper. yet unspoken words speak much… a ruckus caused. one so huge, cores of souls resonated, coarse vibrations within. not a lack of thereinafter, but rather a deafening silence. ruptured is the word. all that were left, were remains of the ambush, the… selfish… ambush. questions and marks were left strewn. queries were raised. possibly unanswered.

one can only ask if ones own interpretation, selfish as it is, is true. but one can never know unless asked. a craving, to satiate. i wonder, should a call be made out? what if, what ifs… hindrances arent they. to be or not to be… would that be the question? or is it to be outside that that is favourable? hm. oh well.

too bad i didnt get to eat my fav ramen =( but o well i was full anyways. Thor was simply awesome. hehe it reignited my love of greek mythology and the likes. totally made me feel like i was a kid again, loving what years of facing reality desensitised once again. kind of happy that it made me remember the possibilities of things of the unknown and what it could present to us. =) i feel that the last part… Loki either took over the guys body, or was influencing him in some way. though, no idea how he could get any advantage out of using the equipment since technology isnt really part of ancient magic stuff. =/

loved the exploration to cool shops on orchard. totally fascinated by all the cool stuff people display/sell. little knick knacks that i probably would never buy because i have curbed my temptation to buy nonsense from shops that just collect dust around the house.

i just wished dinner was much cooler so that i couldve enjoyed the chilling more. nonetheless, it was rather nice, with the morrocan tea and kebab. little chitter chatter of nothing much. =)

on the way home till just now, i couldnt help but wander off in my own conciousness about the things that are in my life right now. worries, uncertainties, what to do from now… these things come in cycles, once resolved, they seem to creep back into my life, and ive to face them again, just under different circumstances and for different things.

uncertainty of whether ill be contacted at all. hence the frustration, the angst, anger, irritation. yet to unleash that pent up frustration because bottom line if they do contact, ill have to throw a smile their way and be totally nice. =)

thought about giving. helping, rather. once a promise laid, speaking words knowingly hard to commit to, but would try to, born from guilt on a certain occasion. yet, time and time again, the word spoken was broken. unwilling, yet bound, yet knowing that it should be done, but reluctance overcomes. excuses summoned forth, but consciously, know the reality. this pull will cause me much trouble.

a one sided pull, a one sided chase, leading to a rubber band expanding and contracting. bound by chance and fate, yet torn by those same forces. ambiguity. arent they all the same? yet with wisdom comes forth new and endless possibilities… or just naught.

scoring upon an article finished. but yet no ending. idiots and imbeciles are quick to judge, selfish even perhaps, yet with one not knowing their cause, can only helplessly accept the facts. all there is to it, is but just to wait. growing weary, losing interest, lazy perhaps, for he is a sloth.

losing all aims, purposes, goals, what else is there to look for? in every action, senselessness, bleakness, weariness, reverbs along all meaning of nerves and synapse. even zeal and zest dissipates upon reaching the first goal. tried so hard, spent time, effort, all for ? ultimately, what is there to be gained? should gaining be all to be looked for? search deeper, deeper, deep into the disform piece of energy. what is there waiting? lurking? what lust does it seek? search engines come up with nothing. think. art. negative. read. negative. am i falling further into the depths of… what? what is there? materials. yuck. yet, i will need. even so, in art, to please? or to satisfy? for one, or for all? if only the last goal can be seen… too bad. so question is… what now? life sucks when this happens.

got news that my sister lost her BB, or rather someone stole it. lost all her contacts needed for her upcoming networking event. =/ well, there was no way to solve it, and comforting would be all too late. just hope that all goes well in the end.

really happy and proud of myself that in the last rehearsal for BIT today… No flaws!!! not really. lol. maybe the missing of mark timing and when to stop doing it, and perhaps the moving too far forward after the diamond shaped part… but yea! got it all down really. so happy. especially when i nailed the fan gimmicks… remembering to change the color of the fan, the steps and all… weee! on that note… i can safely say that i have more or less memorised the music. nonetheless, professionalism at hand, i brought back my scores to go through during the weekend. hope i do manage to go through it. haha. i know myself that well.

thanks samuel for the curry puffs! haha. and sorry that i didnt eat them hot and they became cold and slightly soggy from the oil and moisture. was really quite full at lunch so i gave away one to ming huat. sorry about that too. but… i still finished the rest!

wasted one styrofoam box, plastic spoon and a plastic bag because of the uncertainty of the arrival of the minibus. sorry environment.

haha was quite fun IPing with Rihrih today. it’s been the first in months. teehee. got to help him, and at the same time helping myself really be able to memorise the footsteps and combining them with the playing. i think i will need to practise that more. i shall challenge myself to not use score on tuesday. =)

i must really say a big sorry to people whom i said that i was fetching 5 people down. i got to the car, and after everyone assembled… well, it appeared that i only fetched 4 people in the end. i couldn’t really keep track of who i promised to fetch. so yea. =/

somehow today seems to be rather uneventful even though it felt quite eventful. hm. in any case, a song to mark this day.

ALSO!!!! TODAY IS THE LAST DAY FOR SCORING MY DESIGN OF THE HAMSTER!!! DO SCORE IT PLEASE!!!!!!! greatly appreciated really! thanks to all! HamLove

and to close this day… ill be reading my new book, Bertram’s Hotel by Agatha Christie.

cog was amazingly not that tiring whilst playing, but once i stopped movement, the head started hurting. =/ this is my… 8th consecutive cog that i’m down for, playing, marching, the full course. Gahh. and to think the guardhouse police cb-ed me for bringing scissors into the place when i’ve been having it for months (imagine the number of parades ive done there already). either way if he wanted the scissors he could have taken it. instead he frantically checked my bag like i had a bomb and upon finding them he put them back saying that they were fine because they were not sharp. =.= ya, and i would totally go somewhere without being seen to somewhere and use the scissors in a malicious act. besides, you don’t need a sharp object to do that. =.= given the circumstances, i’d rather him just take the scissors than guai lan me asking me whether i brought it to cut hair. =.= scissors are F.Y.I. a part of stationery. if you could even cut a decent hair with those, i applaud you. if i were a civilian i swear i wouldve given him the middle finger.

haha. so angst. swore in the car today to and from dinner i think. blardy irresponsible people who don’t look before crossing the road. and people who maneuver their cars like as if they were stunt drivers in a movie or something. always felt that if i never went to acs, i’d highly likely have became a gangster of sorts. lol. parking was kinda fun. lol. disregarding the dustbin was funny. esp when the family of the house which the car was parked in front was at home watching tv. lol.

anyways, had dinner at Arbite. narb had japanese curry pork wrap + wedges. me and dwayne had pork + mushroom + vege pasta. daniel had tomato pasta. haha. i totally don’t remember the names. i liked the pork, thought it could use a little less garlic, pasta couldve been softer (maybe i’m not used to eating that kind of pasta), and a lot more flavour. the little amount of pork wrap i had was nice. a good alternative to murtabak at indian-muslim prata places. not too strong on the curry. nice. =) no idea how the tomato pasta tasted. honestly, not the best pasta i’ve had or at least used to to really like it. still, quite nice. though still felt hungry after eating. the float filled me.

on a separate note, felt quite bad for, maybe my tone was a bit harsh? on the waitress? i did say root beer float. yea, maybe i emphasised the root beer a little too much. interesting thing i found in my ice cream was i think root beer shaved ice (sort of). like root beer frozen. come to think of it, i paid a few dollars more than i should have. pfft. someone ate my money. o well.

pictures of the food below! by they way, they have a really cool design mag. awesomes.

Narb’s

Mine and Dwayne’s

Daniel’s

And without fail, i just have to promote my design for scoring! come on guys! score for me! haha.

HamLove

Too bad no one wants to go out tmr… =( the car will most probably not be used… =(

oh oh! i don’t know why, but my left foot is like rotting. lol. mysterious cut just appeared between my big and second toe. hurt while i bathed in white house. and my last toe is dying. dead skin keeps falling off. feels like it keeps hardening only to flake off some time later. =(

on the last note, I LOVE MY LOAFERS! quite comfortable, no abrasion. and they suit my shorts! now i need to try with my black jeans. lol.

Score it here: HamLove

Thanks one and all! =) and thanks Stanley for helping me! =D