Pointlessness

First and foremost, (as much as I’ll get stoned by millions of people around the world, and I still love Heath Ledger to bits) Batman, was to me, an utter disappointment. ‘Nuff said.

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In these times of distraught, one must learn the ways and attain the spirit of the phoenix – to fall, and rise from its ashes.

Another cycle has looped, and found its head, only to start a new cycle, with a new head. This can be said of all the people, or at least most people close to me. With all the coming and going, it stresses the arbitrary-ness of life and its components.

What is done, shall, would, and will forever be done, and would, will, and forever be unable to be undone. The war is not lost, but only a battle gone; a minor set back, but from these ashes and ruins of hearts, a new lease of life – a new phoenix shall rise.

Don’t give up ya’ll hear?! All is not lost! Garner your strength and valour, fervor and pride, march onward with the gusto as man long past once held in their breasts! A festival sings its songs, its distant cheers roar just beyond the outskirts. Join in clad and armour, bring the glory, use it to shine thine tools, let gold shimmer in the light, gold dust fireworks shall “ferrero rochet” the sky’s limelight.

The last song to be sung by the fat lady will be soon. All ye faithful men and women, join in chorus and let us sing to the world the greatest melody, a sound so beautiful the heavens flood its goodness down, and hell will shatter, and all there is will be only light, no shadows.

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Personally, I too, am to be reborn soon. It is due. Time is what I have in this world to wait, to nurture and to grow. My eyes see clearly now. Like King Lear at his deathbed, I realise that all these while, I was smogged with illusions; illusions that I conjured on my own.

I have sunk the bridge of past, to move on and proceed onto the next. If this message reaches thou, where for thou art, pray you me see and accept thine intentions.

Feelings are hard to articulate, much less acted out. I missed an opportunity just that day, that night, but a blessing in disguise maybe?

I have done much foolish things in the past, and this may be the most sane thing ever. Breeding, growing, nurturing – all I hope to do with this. Deep, deep, yes it may be, but sliced in a different manner I treat it be. Cleansed of the filth one may see it as, nothing much more to burn, but combustable ash.

I hope a song was sung, that reached the left of grey matter, that with its workings you come to understand, that I slice and bow in a different angle. A mask is no more needed, for you nor me, not a front, back, or a fakie.

We arent that different, in terms of height, 7 cm apart ain’t enough for a fright. Hope you see me in a different way, an answer will be good, and we will be on our way. Part or stay is for you to choose, either way, we win or lose.

Trust in me, that you must, for something to work out, without a doubt. Read nothing, do not, shall not, for no mask is worn, not for a thought. Naked I stand, now and here, see me true, my heart so dear.

Walk me on this road tonight, I promise I won’t put up a fight. Walk me on through my life, hand in hand, and all through strife. If friends is what you want it be, give me a call, and it shall be.

All I need is an answer from you, tell me true, and it’ll be through. Following the stars place for me, I’ll follow the path paved, but with glee.

Time has come for you to show, time to deal the final blow.

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bla, exams in less than 70 days (i think) =S

It’s times like these where after being dipped, swirled, whirlpooled in a fermenter of acid and sludge, you emerge realising many things of late. Well, they probably existed everyday of your life, just that you never saw or knew.

You get sentiments like, aw, she loves me, or, aw, he loves me. Yet, with a striking blow, you get baseballed back into base and realise more things, that as much as he and/or she loves you, you tend to still detest the way things are being done; done to you, done to your life.

You find many things arbitrary (sounds familiar to a blog’s name); suffering being one of them, happiness being one of them, pain being one of them, life, being one of them. Everything seems peripheral, or rather your innocent and pure and angelic and naive mind tells you, but in fact they delve deeper than any crevace that you can find.

True it is ironic that none of these are true because your mind is just not pure nor innocent, but dark and evil as you acquire knowledge, but as you tread these long roads and passages through the ever omniscient time and space that capacitises all of us, you find that this fact still remains that nothing is peripheral.

I’m reading a book called The Lucifer Code, a book that explores religion and science, coexisting, yet repelling. With it, it draws out the endlessness to possibilities in life, where everything and anything can be anything and everything or vice versa in both contexts.

Dropping a hurdle tripped upon during this race, this mad mad race, I have decided to move on. There will always be certain things I’ll tend to hold on, that as I run on, I’ll turn to look back, but in this incapacitation by time and space, I know I cannot be dragged on the ground, but must find a footing and stride and pace with time, so that I shall not trip no more.

Looking ahead are dark times and tides, but in this rain, this thunderstorm, I hope to find peace in my heart, relish the rain that falls on me. I require many things in my life, for personal benefit, no less, the activation energy that I need to spur myself to strive, to constantly spur myself to strive for… my goals?

As I run on, I realise, that maybe these goals were never mine, however much I chose them. I know in my heart that the ultimate goal that I ever wanted, was to live in times just before industrialization, where there a period of peace, where I could be a boy in a cobbled road town, living in the outskirts, farming, rearing, sheperding.

All I want is to relax and live that kind of life, with a loving and warm family, with friends that will most probably never leave you, with a society so closely knit all the members are your family, no one is a stranger.

The storm is starting. The rain falls down in trickles as the thunder rolls and drums in a far distance. I’m negotiating, as autumn’s first cold hard rain falls on my forehead.